Now comes the next part of the journey. It’s easy to see how much we need God and each other when we’re in the midst of a hard time. We call out, we get the help we need, we’re in a better place than we’ve been for a long time, and…
Perhaps this place is the most critical place of healing. We’re no longer where we used to be, but we are not where we want to be. For me, things are better right now, today, than I could’ve ever hoped for considering where I’ve been the past few years and still, I am somewhat overcome by the fact that I’m okay. Really. So then I have to ask myself, why do I feel the way I feel. I’m so ready to move on in my life – to recapture all that’s been lost to me. And yet, the past few days I’ve felt strangely lost.
Man! What’s going on with that? I finally had to come to the realization that, for the first time in possibly years, I am fully cognizant of my mind, body and emotions; no dulling, no false drug reality to numb me from myself. Thankfully, with somewhat a terrifying truth, I am now fully in my present self. I’m okay. I get to choose my tomorrow. What I will be is now totally up to…me.
I continue in my mindfulness and my gratitude to God and those who have stood with me to complete the journey back to whole health. More and more each day as I take this walk with all of you who are watching, I know that now, more than ever before, it is imperative for me to stay the course and keep walking the day by day, step by step pathway to my better life. Again, I am so thankful and humbled by the great gift of having the opportunity to walk this walk!
God Bless!
Heidi
holdheidishand 