Today I decided to write about these three things because they are so important in living a good life. For me personally I have to truly embrace my days knowing that I am the way I am, and I’m the only one who can truly understand the way I feel. So when I talk about these three things, patience, tolerance and compassion, I’m speaking about both sides of the story. Not only others having these things towards me, but me having the understanding, as well, for them not being able to understand me. I’m working each and every day to improve my reactions and response to how I’ve allowed others to affect the way I feel.
After I was injured I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I am aware that this is a very common diagnosis and some people believe it’s used in many situations as an excuse. For me, personally, I know the effects of it and it really can be totally debilitating. The most frustrating part of having a brain injury is that it’s a wound others cannot see. That being said, it’s hard for others to be compassionate when they are not aware of what happened. So this has left me in a very hard spot because some things, like my body reacting physically to situations, I used to believe I had no control over. This is where I have to set boundaries and as the years have passed I’ve learned and am still learning my limitations. For instance, I get very overwhelmed in crowded places, loud noises, too much mental stimulation in general, not enough rest; all of these are factors to how I’m going to feel during the day. Because of my PTSD I’ve had seizures, my thoat has swelled shut and I couldn’t breathe – anxiety attacks etc.
Now, lets get to the positive side of things because, even though I was a victim of an attack, I refuse to be defined as a victim! Just because it happened to me doesn’t mean it’s who I am or anything close to that! I feel this topic needed to be brought up so other people, myself included, can make sure to check themselves when we’re lacking compassion for others due to a lack of understanding. By the way, most things we get frustrated with that has to do with other people is usually because we don’t understand what they may be going through. A women once told me, “walk gently in other people’s lives because you cannot know or understand what they may be going through…”
Today my goal to be a better person is to be more patient with others and not allow myself to get my feelings hurt or upset because I feel misunderstood. I’m going to work at not letting little things get to me, I’m going to work on making sure I get the rest I need and not feel guilty because I take the time to heal myself fully. I”m going to project healthy, happy thoughts and focus on those things! I’m going to be patient, more compassionate to those who lack understanding, and I’m going to truly make this a new start to a new day (each and every day) seeing only good things to come! I’m going to believe for more time with my beautiful daughter, Kaitlyn, and only see the happy times were going to share together. Each and every time my mind begins to tell me anything negative I’m going to replace those thoughts with good ones.
It’s almost a full-time job to reinvent your old thinking habits. And, like I said the last few days, I’ve dug the hole and created bad habits of allowing my mind to go there, – NO MORE! I am consciously counteracting my thoughts each and every time those negatives things want to creep back in. For instance, feeling sorry for myself because I’m offended. It’s a choice how I choose to respond.
So today let’s all try to be more aware of others and how they may feel. Take the time to smile and say have a good day to a stranger. Start being grateful for each and every blessing you can think of. We are all in this beautiful world together, we might as well try to bless others with being a light to them!
God Bless
Heidi
holdheidishand 