When I look up at the moon at night it amazes me that no matter what we all go through in our day to day lives, no matter how good or bad our day might have went, one thing remains that moon is still there when we lay our heads on our pillows at night to sleep. Yes, that’s right the same moon I’m looking at here in Colorado is the same beautiful moon that my family far away can take a glance at, knowing we are all under one moon safe, sound, alive and free.
Some have never had their freedom taken away or been in a position where they had their freedom jeopardized. Whether it be in a hospital, a jail cell, or held against your will. If you’ve ever been in a position to lose your freedom in some way, even just your own mental hell, most of us live at some time or another in our personal hell trapped by our own mental hell or a situation that controls us – a wrong relationship or something that makes us a prisoner in our own home.
No matter what you call losing your freedom, it’s one of the things that most of us take so very for granted. Unless you’ve even been through it, you will never completely understand how lucky you really are to be in the land of the free. I know it’s impossible to completely understand unless you’ve been in a compromising position, but I can assure you, if you’re walking, talking and making your own choices, day to day,you are very lucky. So today I had to take a step back, remember the places I’ve been so I can thank God for the place I’m at. Is it perfect? No, but what does perfect really mean? Perfect, I guess to me, is my daughter healthy, happy and safe; my family and friends safe and sound, and being able to get up everyday and look in the mirror and love myself.
For the first time maybe ever, I can honestly say, I LOVE ME! I love the way I look, I love the things I’m doing in my life, and I am proud of my beautiful girl! She couldn’t have become more of an amazing young lady. I know she can be proud of the things she’s doing and who she’s become. To me that’s all I could have ever dreamed of and ask for as a mom. I’m proud of the things she’s overcome in her life and how well she’s doing in school and the little beauty she is. What a princess Adam Layman and I created. I couldn’t be prouder of my angel.
If today was the last day I took a breath I hope that she would know that mommy left knowing she would make it in this crazy world. The good news is that’s not my story! I plan on spending the rest of our lives together, living beautiful, happy, healthy lives – all of us together. This is just one chapter in the book of many more chapters to come.
God Bless
Heidi
holdheidishand 